i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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