I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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