I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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