I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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