you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
