Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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