I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm both gender and math confused
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
