ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
