I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
