I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
