Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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