Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
