One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
