morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The power of my boobs compel you
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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