Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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