my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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