Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
