Can Purell be used as lube?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
