I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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