I CAN MOONWALK!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
