Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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