You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
