If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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