Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it because I queefed?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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