I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
