I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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