We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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