Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
