i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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