i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
