So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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