I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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