he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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