There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She bit a glass in half.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
