I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
