it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize