I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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