I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
