Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
