i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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