If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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