ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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