I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i dont even know how to be here
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
my liver is dry heaving
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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