I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
