Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
