Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
