Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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