One girl and one boy is just not enough.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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