there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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