You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize