I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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