Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
