Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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