I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
