i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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