my phone cant type all the emotion im having
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
