you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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