There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize