im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
whose ass print is on the piano?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
