K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
